Of all the trials and tribulations of modern dating, app trolls are the worst. These are the kinds of people who aren’t looking for true love or a fun date. Instead, they’re only on the apps to message people weird things and get a rise from them. Messaging with a troll can be fun if you’re bored, but they’re usually annoying.
Take this guy, for example. None of what he’s saying is funny in the slightest. His opening message was weird enough to get a response, but the conversation devolved pretty quickly after that. Kate will never get those few minutes of her life back.
The Perfect Match
Sometimes a gal just wants to be wooed and taken on a romantic date. Is that too much to ask? We hate to break it to you all, but yes, it is. One look at this girl’s face tells you all you need to know about her boyfriend’s romantic date idea.
He thought it would be a clever idea to take her to the place they first met. This sounds like a cute idea until you realize the pair is standing in front of Tinder headquarters. They matched on the app, and she’s ready to reinstall it and start swiping right again.
Sorry, Bro
Being cheated on is never fun. But, being the unknowing person who hooks up with the cheater can feel even worse. This tiny note was left behind in a girl’s apartment in the last place she would look. Why? Because it was meant for someone else to find.
The guy who slept over taped the note to the bottom of the toilet seat, knowing that her boyfriend would find it. The note-writer had hooked up with this girl and didn’t know she was in a relationship until the morning after. By way of an apology, he left behind this secret note of solidarity. This is definitely a situation where the “bro first” rule makes sense.
A Hallmark Remix
Many of us love the predictable romance of a Hallmark Christmas movie. Every plot is basically the same: a big-time career woman moves back to her small hometown and falls in love with a down-to-earth heartthrob right before the holidays. But we must think about how the big city ex-boyfriend must feel about the whole situation.
This tweet shows the point of view of the forgotten big-city boyfriend, and he’s not all bad. He’s the one who supports her ambitions and career goals, after all. In classic post-break-up fashion, he’s planning a super fun trip to ignore how upset he is about being dumped. The evil ex has feelings, too.
The Lurking Blues
We all experience some degree of jealousy in a relationship. Yes, even that friend of yours who says she doesn't. It’s a natural human emotion often counterbalanced by trusting our partner. However, sometimes feeling jealous and upset is totally warranted. By “sometimes,” we mean when your man likes and comments on things he shouldn’t comment on.
Why did he like that girl’s picture? He’s following who? What does that cryptic late-night comment even mean? Dating is definitely harder in our modern age of social media. You can’t trust anyone. Oh, and don’t even think about secretly checking his DMs. You might not like what you find.
A Cozy Night In
If you’ve tried dating and have found little-to-no success, you’re not alone. Some people give up and try other ways of meeting “the one.” Considering the lackluster options on many dating apps, this doesn’t seem like a bad idea. One guy planned a cozy night in with the perfect date, and we’re kind of jealous.
He brought a brand new date home and decided to plan the perfect low-key evening. Netflix and chill, red wine, and a bubble bath sound pretty romantic. If he’s lucky, he’ll score at the end of the evening. He has a pretty good chance since his date is the “Fallout 4” video game.
A New Vacation Wardrobe
A good partner is hard to find. That’s why you do everything you can to keep them, right? However, this girlfriend took things to the next level. Her boyfriend was going on a cruise without her. She wanted all the single ladies on the ship to know he was taken.
She made him a collection of new shirts that all proclaimed his relationship status. What better way to remind your man while he’s relaxing on vacation? Of course, some people might find this stunt overbearing and a bit much. But can we blame her for wanting to keep a good thing going?
Single Forever?
It’s easy to compare your love life (or lack thereof) with everyone else’s, especially on social media. It seems like everyone in the world is finding love and hooking up except for you. What’s up with that? We’re here to remind you that it’s not the destination but the journey. Take your time, and love will follow.
Hearing messages like “you already meet your soulmate before age 21” can be disheartening if you’re 22 and single. However, don’t worry too much if you find yourself alone and without a soulmate. It might not seem like it, but there is plenty of time to date around and find “the one.”
Get Your Milkshake Ready
This photo may look like a simple Dairy Queen milkshake sitting in a front yard. However, it’s actually a testament to how hard dating can be. The girl who took this photo is looking for some new boys to date. So, she took inspiration from the Y2K classic hit “Milkshake” by Kelis.
Unfortunately, her efforts don’t seem to be paying off very well. She’s staying optimistic, but we have our doubts. That cute little milkshake is hanging out in the front yard all alone. Alas, her milkshake did not bring all the boys to her yard. Better luck next time.
Modern Dating: IKEA Edition
Choosing an awesome picture of yourself is one of the most important decisions you will ever make when building the perfect dating profile. It’s tricky business. You want to strike the right balance of humor, wit, and approachability. Your profile picture is the first thing potential matches will judge you on.
That’s why this idea is either totally genius or absolutely misguided. Some guys have resorted to photoshoots at IKEA to get the perfect shot. These guys will read books upside down, pretend to put away dishes in fake kitchens and work hard in fake offices just to look accomplished and cultured. Would you swipe right?
The Other Woman
When you're first getting to know someone, all it takes is one misstep to ruin a potential relationship. Unfortunately, this guy might have been that giant misstep for his roommate. One evening, his roommate asked him to clean the apartment because he was bringing a girl home later. It was then that he hatched the perfect maniacal plan.
Like any good roommate, he cleaned the apartment and did his best to set the mood for his buddy. What better way to create a romantic vibe than an impromptu shrine to the late Princess Diana? The lovelorn lines about Thom and Diana written in Comic Sans are a nice touch.
No Show Fee
This photo is absolute proof that online dating is a dystopic nightmare. A woman’s roommate had arranged to meet some guy she met on Hinge but got cold feet last minute. So instead of letting him know she wanted to cancel, she stood him up. Not the best decision, but it happens.
This woman was shocked when she saw a Venmo charge for eight dollars a few days later. This guy, who she had never met in real life, was trying to charge her a “Hinge no-show fee.” No one likes to be ghosted, but treating a date like a broken contract is a weird move.
Men Are Trash
They say the best revenge is living well. That’s what this girl did when her prom date ditched her for another girl. Instead of staying home crying over the betrayal, she decided to remind this loser of what he was missing. She put on her gorgeous prom dress and uniquely commemorated the fun occasion.
It looks like she still got to pose with her original prom date because she was posing next to a trash can. Is a sicker burn even possible? We don’t think so. This girl got the best revenge on her cheating ex by looking hot and indirectly insulting him, all in one go.
A Woman’s Best Friend
A few swipes through any dating app can quickly reveal the slim pickings available. If you’ve encountered this issue, plan a date with your dog instead. There’s really no downside to this idea. Not even one. Dogs are easy-going, fun to be around, and always up for a good time.
Someone posted pictures of a paint and picnic outing she planned with her dog in tow, and it’s absolutely adorable. Plus, her dog looks so happy that she’s spending time with them. Honestly, this outing looks way more fun than the usual awkward date at T.G.I.Friday’s with a stranger from the internet.
A Homemade Dinner
Not everyone is an expert chef, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is a lack of effort. This guy put in the least when planning a dinner for his girlfriend. He told her it would be a romantic evening full of candlelight and a homecooked meal. Sounds pretty good, right?
This girl got the candlelight, but the dinner was a little lackluster. This guy plated some McDonald’s fries and chicken nuggets instead of a fresh meal. The little balls appear to be blueberries, which is concerning because they have ketchup on them. Nevertheless, we give this romantic dinner an “A” for effort.
Back to the Futurama
First-date jitters are a real thing. A big part of the nervousness comes from the pressure to find the perfect outfit. You want to look great but don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard. This guy didn’t take the pressure to get dressed too seriously.
He lost a bet to his sibling and was forced to wear this outfit on a first date. At first glance, this outfit doesn’t look too bad. But, one look at his pose reveals that he is a real-life doppelganger for none other than “Futurama” star Philip J. Fry. We wonder if his date noticed the resemblance.
A Cute Back-Up Plan
The advent of online dating has made meeting people very fast-paced and depersonalized. Since everyone is talking to each other through a screen, some people may have fewer reservations about canceling, ghosting, and potentially hurting other people’s feelings. While there are some positives to online dating, being stood up is not one of them.
This person got stood up by their potential date. However, they didn’t let the rejection sting for too long. They decided to head home and hang out with the other special lady in their life: their dog. They set up a candle, a place setting, and everything.
Sweet Dreams
There have always been cheaters throughout history. However, some people think they can get away with cheating more effortlessly than ever with dating apps and DMing people online. They all get caught eventually though. How is an honest single person supposed to trust people these days? Sometimes it seems way better to just be single.
The logic is solid. If you’re single, you can’t be cheated on by a two-timing partner. So you can rest easy and have sweet dreams every night, knowing you’re not in a toxic relationship with a cheater. It might get lonely, but at least your heart is protected.
DateMark Dot Com
Swiping through dozens of pictures on an app to find “the one” can feel dehumanizing and discouraging. There are plenty of great single people out there who get passed up based on their appearance or bio. Sick of soulless swiping, this man in the UK decided to take his fate into his own hands.
According to his website, Mark works in marketing. It makes sense that he would think up a genius way to attract potential dates. If you want to date Mark, you must submit an application for his review. This process may seem like a bit much, but at least it’s different than depending on an algorithm.
The Worst Christmas Ever
If you’re tired of seeing your friends’ posts about engagements, new babies, and home ownership, you’re not the only one. Scrolling our social media feeds can make us feel like we’re not good enough and falling behind in life achievements. Why is everyone getting married except for you?
This guy was sick of seeing proposal posts all over his feed, so he posted an anti-proposal announcement. Instead of the usual romantic “she said yes” picture, he jokingly posted his girlfriend’s ringless finger. At least, we hope it was a joke. A rejection on Christmas sounds like the worst thing ever.
Sorry for Using Logic, Babe
Every relationship has a “dramatic” one and a “logical” one. You know it’s true. There always needs to be someone who over-reacts and gets dramatic while the other person talks them down and uses sound reasoning. A dynamic like this usually works out, but sometimes it can get frustrating.
This woman gets frustrated when she wants to rant to her boyfriend. Doesn’t he understand that she needs to vent, not hear a solution to the drama? We totally get it. Sometimes you just need your logical partner to meet your level of melodrama, but it doesn’t happen. Oh well, that’s what besties are for.
The Dating Grind
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that guys lie about their height on dating apps. Grindr, Tinder, Hinge – it doesn’t matter. For whatever reason, they feel the need to overcompensate and exaggerate how tall they really are. So it can be shocking if you do end up meeting one of these tall boys in real life.
Honey, we all know you’re not 6’9”, so why not just be honest? Online dating can be really superficial, so we understand why some guys feel the need to lie on their profiles. However, honesty is always the best policy. Anyone worth dating will appreciate you for your actual height.
The Pick-Up Line Rotation
Guys, we have breaking news. Every woman using a dating app has heard your witty pick-up line before. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but your conversation starter is not as clever and funny as you think. They’ve all heard the usual joke set-ups, one-liners, and cheesy pickup lines.
Alex tried to slide into this woman’s DM, and she showed no mercy. She shot down his pick-up line faster than his fingers could type. He certainly met his match, but not in the way he was hoping. Of course, people want to stand out when online dating, but being genuine is the most eye-catching thing you can do.
The Boring Melons
Online dating is ruthless. People give their matches only a few chances before moving on to greener pastures. It’s hard not to feel like you’re constantly in an interview for a job you’re not even sure you want. Some people try to infuse humor into their responses to catch a match's eye. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work.
This poor guy gave it his best shot with Caren. She immediately unmatched him after his response, so she wasn’t very impressed. On the other hand, his response was pretty funny, and she obviously isn't so maybe it’s good that she stuck to her criteria. They might not have been a good match, anyway.
A Romantic Treasure Hunt
These notes are proof that romance is still alive and well. If you doubt you’ll ever find love, just look at how sweet this couple is. You, too, can find a man who will leave you cute little notes around the house when he has to leave town for a business trip.
The last note is the best one of all. Who doesn’t want to be called a “fart toucher” by their significant other? In all seriousness, this is a lovely example of how humor helps people feel a little closer to their partners. The couple that laughs together stays together.
Fried Chicken Over Everything
Do you remember your first love? Ah, There’s nothing like it. The excitement, the butterflies, and the anticipation are all fantastic “firsts” many of us hold dear. However, today’s kids seem to have different priorities than finding “the one.” Someone found a note passed between two 8th-graders, revealing what the kids are into these days.
Fried chicken. The kids are more into eating fried chicken instead of starting a dedicated relationship. Honestly, we get it. Fried chicken is delicious. There’s nothing like taking that first bite of a crispy drumstick when you’re starving. The kids are going to be alright.
Roses Are Red
You know you have a great partner when they can cut through the monthly PMS-induced grouchiness and discomfort. This isn’t an easy thing to do. So, if you find someone who can lift your spirits and make you feel understood during that time of the month, hold them tight.
This guy’s note to his wife seems dark and creepy until you realize what he’s talking about. Cramps really do suck, and it’s nice that he understands and addresses it without batting an eye. What a keeper. Hopefully, this note made his wife laugh and feel better. Humor really is the best medicine.
The Art of Letter Writing
Long-distance relationships can be challenging. Even with modern inventions like FaceTime and texting, it’s hard to feel connected to significant others when they’re not physically close. Some couples keep the spark alive by writing snail mail to each other. This can be a great way for couples to slow down and focus on an old-fashioned form of romance.
However, the art of letter writing isn’t up to snuff compared to decades past. Maybe all the time we spend in constant contact with each other has left us at a loss for words. Whatever the reason, they just don’t write them like they used to.
Hey There, Delilah
When you have a name that references something in pop culture, you hear the same tired jokes over and over again. Just ask any Penny who is just so tired of The Beatles. No doubt this gets old after a while because every time someone makes the same joke about your name, they act like they’ve invented electricity.
Delilah, for one, is entirely over the references to the Plain White T’s famous song, “Hey There Delilah.” It was probably fun back when the song came out in 2005, but not anymore. However, that doesn’t discourage people from trying to drag out the joke. Poor guy didn’t stand a chance.
Talking to a Wall
One problem with modern dating is that many people are just plain rude. We all know that sinking feeling in the pit of the stomach when the person you’re trying to message just doesn’t care. So why do people do this? If all you’re going to send is one-word replies, why reply at all?
It’s mystifying. If you do this, can you clue us in? At least it’s better to have a one-sided conversation via an app than in-person. Imagine how awkward it would be to suffer through a dinner with a brick wall that refused to elaborate.
Oh, She Heard You
Of all the trials and tribulations of modern dating, app trolls are the worst. These are the kinds of people who aren’t looking for true love or a fun date. Instead, they’re only on the apps to message people weird things and get a rise from them. Messaging with a troll can be fun if you’re bored, but they’re usually annoying.
Take this guy, for example. None of what he’s saying is funny in the slightest. His opening message was weird enough to get a response, but the conversation devolved pretty quickly after that. Kate will never get those few minutes of her life back.
Battle of the One-Liners
Even if you’re the queen or king of cheesy pick-up lines, not everyone will appreciate your talents. That’s why it’s so refreshing when you match with someone who is on your level. Sharing some witty banter with a potential date is exhilarating. Hey, maybe they like you and want to meet in real life. One can dream.
Or, maybe they’re just leading you on, only to shoot you down with a vicious one-liner that even you couldn’t think of on the fly. This poor guy got his hopes up, only to have them dashed by Kel and her scorching comeback. Touché, Kel.
A Sweet Snack
So, you just got into a new relationship. Congratulations! If you think all you’re problems and woes are now solved, think again. This picture is proof that your troubles are just beginning. In today’s modern world, we all have to remain vigilant. Apparently, even our own partners want to kill us.
This guy went to the kitchen to grab a snack, only to find this foreboding handwritten note from his girlfriend. How sweet. This is, of course, a joke. Otherwise, this guy wouldn’t have lived to post the photo. Or maybe he threw the snack away because he didn’t want to discover the truth.
I’m Watching You
It’s common for couples to try new things to keep their relationships spicy, whatever those things may be. On the other hand, some people are not into exploring and spicing things up. Take this guy. He likes the tried-and-true method of leaving his wife love notes when he has to travel for work.
Why try something new when this romantic gesture works so well? We’re sure this romantic gesture swept his wife off her feet. In all seriousness, having inside jokes and a sense of humor with your spouse is good. After all, a good partner is hard to find.
On a Roll
When you’re dating, it’s important to remember that your partner is not a mind-reader. So if you feel a certain way, let them know. Chances are, they won’t pick up on your passive-aggressive responses or subtle hints.
If you know that your partner needs things spelled out for them in an obvious way, work with them, not against them. For example, this guy knew his partner probably wouldn’t find his romantic Valentine’s Day card if they placed it somewhere traditional. A bouquet on the kitchen table? No way. A roll of toilet paper? They’re bound to see it first thing in the morning.
Reach for the Stars
Let’s be honest. We all have a personal checklist of things we want in a partner. But, unfortunately, sometimes those desires can be at odds with each other. In such cases, it’s time to re-evaluate and remain open to possibilities. For example, this person wants a girlfriend who simultaneously knows everything and nothing at all about Star Wars.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too. In a situation like this, it’s best to be open to meeting people from both ends of the spectrum. If you remain open-minded about your requirements, modern dating will be a lot easier.
Mixed Signals
Modern dating is full of mixed signals and missed connections. In an endless sea of options, how are we supposed to find another person who wants us as much as we want them? It seems impossible. More often than not, one person is more emotionally involved than the other.
This happens for many reasons, and most of the time, it’s no one’s fault. If one person shows vague interest, the other might get excited and push that person away with their intense obsession. Sometimes the vague interest is all in the other person's head but triggers them in the same way nonetheless. It takes a few tries, but the best romantic matches exist for everyone.
Cue the Life-Altering Meet-Cute
A big drawback of modern life is how it’s made dating so superficial and fast-paced. Some of us aren’t built to withstand this modern world of dating. People make a snap judgment about you within seconds of seeing your profile picture. It’s intimidating to think that complete strangers are rating your attractiveness without getting to know your personality.
The current model of dating apps is too overwhelming for the sensitive types out there. It’s time to bring back the meet-cute. Let’s slow down and talk to a cute stranger at the coffee shop or slip someone your number on the subway.
Gamified Dating
Many apps have gamified elements that work to keep people on the platform. For example, little in-app rewards give our brains a serotonin boost, so we delay putting our phones away for a few more minutes (or hours, if we're honest). But what if dating apps gamified their platforms around all the perils of modern dating?
As a woman, dodging creeps and unsolicited photos are part of internet dating. Apps should start rewarding these survival skills with digital coins or little badges. Women do these things every time they log onto an app, so it might as well encourage them to keep going.
A Nice Shirt Collection
After going on a few dates with different people, it’s normal to have a rotation of date-certified outfits at the ready in your closet. These outfits are comfortable and nice and make you look good. What’s not to love? However, some people take efficiency to the next level.
Why have a closet full of date-appropriate shirts when you can have just two? Most online matches don't get more than a date or two anyway. If someone makes it to the third and fourth date, they’re undoubtedly into you. They won’t mind if you’re an outfit repeater. They agreed to another date because they like your personality, not your sustainable fashion choices.
A Day at the Zoo
If modern dating has taught us anything, it's the world is full of some truly wild people. People may look normal in their profile pictures, but a few days of conversing will soon reveal weird obsessions, short tempers, and much worse. Overall, it can be a fun and exhilarating experience– until one of these weirdos asks to meet up in real life.
It’s best to approach online dating with a sense of humor and safety. Sure, it’s fun to chat with random people on the internet under a pseudonym, but it’s another thing to meet up in real life. Be careful out there, everyone.
Boyfriend for Sale
Many pet owners will say that if a potential partner doesn’t like your beloved pet, run the other way. It’s a definite red flag if a new boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t mesh well with your furry friend. But what do you do when the person you’re dating loves pets but is allergic?
Twitter user Periwinkle Jones has the answer. Simply rehome your partner. You probably love your dog or cat more than them, anyways. Although this is definitely a joke, it’s also a testament to how important our pets are regarding compatibility and modern dating. You and your pet are a package deal.
Good Old-Fashioned Dating
We like to poke fun at and complain about modern dating, but is it really so bad? Compared to the “good old days,” it is infinitely better for many people. Nowadays, we can connect with more people from farther away. In addition, more people can express themselves and find people who love them for who they truly are.
The old-fashioned way of pairing people up was a lot different. Like Kevin Farzad points out, many women were married off by their parents for financial stability. It made sense to do this centuries ago, but not really in our modern age. So we have much to be grateful for despite the pitfalls of modern dating.
Not Like Other Guys
There are so many red flags to look for when trying to date. It’s hard to remember them all, but this one is important. If someone tells you they’re not like the other guys or girls out there, they are undoubtedly precisely like them. If someone were really that different, they wouldn’t have to tell you.
Actions speak louder than words. So, if you’re talking to someone who keeps mentioning how everyone else is the worst, keep an eye on what they do instead of what they say. Before you know it, they’ll ask you for weird pictures or if you can Venmo them a few bucks.
Best of Both Worlds
Dating as a young person today is a lot different than dating when our parents were young. But, of course, that doesn’t stop parents from constantly asking us about our love lives. They mean well, but the constant questions about whether we’ve met someone and are getting married get really old, really fast.
Plus, now that more parents know about LGBTQ+ issues, the constant love-life questions are two-fold. Now, your mom can easily interrogate you about why you haven’t brought home a nice guy or girl home for the holidays. With more freedom and possibilities come more nagging but loving questions.
Sunshine and Natty Light
Sometimes modern dating can bring moments of pure sunshine and rainbows. This hilarious exchange between a boyfriend and girlfriend about their new apartment is a classic situation of miscommunication but in the best way. She thought they were talking about natural sunlight, and he thought they were talking about a brand of beer.
You can tell by reading the texts that they have a great relationship. They both had a good laugh about the misunderstanding later on after this tweet went viral. Hopefully, she brought home a pack of Natty Light to celebrate. Love isn’t dead in our modern world, after all.
Can’t Have Nice Things
Dating a jokester can be fun, but it also means being prepared never to have a serious conversation. Like, NEVER. This text conversation between a boyfriend and girlfriend goes to show their differences in priorities. Can you guess which side of the conversation is from the girlfriend?
The poor girl was just trying to have a cute, innocent moment with her boyfriend, but he had to go ruin it with his innuendos. Well, his line isn’t even an innuendo. It’s a pretty straightforward line. At least he knows how to communicate what he wants instead of beating around the bush.
Expectations Vs. Reality
We all have those friends who love to post gushing, lovey-dovey dedications to their significant others for birthdays, anniversaries, or “just because.” Heck, you might even be one of those people. There’s no shame in that game, but we must admit it’s an idealized version of real life.
Day-to-day life with our partners is way less glamorous than social media channels may suggest. It’s normal for couples to get annoyed with each other from time to time. The reality of love is getting upset when your beloved watches a Netflix show without you or eats the rest of the leftovers.
Keeping It Spicy
Unlike some aspects of modern dating, much of maintaining a long-term relationship has stayed the same. Couples who have been together for years develop an unmatched level of closeness. They share the most mundane details about their days with each other because they already know about the big stuff.
People tell their partners things they would never tell anyone else. Not because it’s scandalous but because it's totally dull. Literally, no one else cares. Only your one true love will listen to a long-winded story about a grocery coupon debacle. This is what all you single people have to look forward to when you find your perfect partner. It’s pretty spicy.
Get the Hint
Our modern-day technologies should make it easier to communicate with each other. However, that’s not always the case. Despite constant contact with our significant others, there’s still plenty of room for miscommunication. Even when you spell it out for them, our partners can be as thick as a brick.
Most ladies can glance at this screenshot and instantly recognize what’s happening. The girl in the conversation is making it obvious that she’s hoping for a Valentine’s Day gift from her boyfriend. And it can even cost as little as £2.5. Hopefully, he got her something nice even though this sign went way over his head.
He’s Nice…Too Nice…
When your partner starts acting cuter than normal, alarm bells immediately go off. It’s only natural to react this way. Why is he acting cute? Why is he paying extra attention to you? Something must be wrong. Of course, that’s not the case for every relationship out there, but it’s usually pretty fishy.
Another warning sign that your partner did something they know you won’t like is if they give you a giant bouquet. If this is an out-of-the-ordinary occurrence, it’s an immediate red flag. Don’t be fooled by the flattery. Nine times out of ten, they’re trying to distract you.
Did You Get My Message?
Modern dating and relationships have perks, despite what everyone seems to think. One of these perks is the invention of texting. Now, you no longer have to shout at the top of your lungs for your partner to hear you from the other side of the house. Instead, you can keep it classy and send them a text message.
Another advantage of texting is being able to keep receipts. Doesn’t he remember you asked him to bring home more toilet paper? Show him the text. Does she swear you never told her that so-and-so broke up? Show her the text.
Priorities of Married Life
Dating someone new is exciting. You learn new things about this hot, interesting person whenever you hang out. Plus, you can’t keep your hands off each other. But fast forward a few years and a marriage later, and things are kind of different. As a married couple, your priorities change.
Instead of a hot date night, it’s an early night of getting into bed and watching HBO. If one of you senses even a tiny hint of something more, it’s probably just your significant other looking for the remote. Whoever says the flame of passion goes out after marriage is a liar.
What Dreams Are Made Of
Sometimes the idea of a person is way better than the reality of being in a relationship with them. Many of us fall victim to daydreaming about fictional relationships, which can result in setting our real-life expectations way too high. On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of fantasy once in a while.
Daydreaming doesn’t hurt anybody, so dream on. However, remember that it’s only a daydream and not real life. Real-life relationships are complex, messy, and nuanced. You can totally imagine a full-blown relationship with your high school crush as long as you know it isn’t real.
Don’t Speak
We have a controversial opinion. Couples who say they never fight are big fat liars. It’s human nature to have disagreements with other people. It’s all about how you communicate and resolve issues that count. Different couples use different methods for fighting out a conflict.
While some people like to yell it out, others think giving up is better. For example, if your partner always wants to be correct, there are probably times when you keep your mouth shut to avoid further conflict. As long as you know in your heart that you’re the right one, that’s all that matters.
Moving Too Fast
The early days of dating are precarious and exhilarating. You’re trying to figure out if the two of you have enough in common and actually like each other’s personalities. It can be really fun. However, if someone gets too intense too quickly, it might be time to show them the door.
If someone actually tries to rename your pet after a second date, run the other way. You don’t need that lousy energy stinking up your love life. A suggestion along these lines may seem innocent enough, but it’s undermining and controlling. You and your cat are better off without him, Susan.
Model Behavior
Ladies, never date a guy who makes you feel bad about yourself. Read this tweet if you ever need the strength to break up with a guy who makes you feel like this. Twitter user Ali Segel once dated a guy who constantly mentioned how nice it was that she was a “regular girl” instead of a “model.”
Wow, that is such a sweet and kind thing to say to someone you’re dating. Not. Why did this guy feel the need to keep bringing up his ex-girlfriends? Comparison is the thief of joy, and this poor woman was constantly getting compared to ladies she had never met. Guys like this aren’t worth it.
Speed Dating
Speed dating is considered old school by modern standards, but the practice is still alive and well. However, some people have a different definition of “speed dating” than most. According to Twitter user Molly, modern-day speed dating is when someone distances themselves from you as fast as possible after a first date.
Ouch, that’s got to hurt when that happens. But, honestly, this new definition makes sense. Ghosting happens so much these days, and it seems that no one even sends a courtesy “thanks but no thanks” text anymore. So the term “speed dating” has naturally taken on a new meaning.
Living Your Best Life
Going through a breakup in the age of social media is an elaborate process. You have to navigate unfollowing your ex, trying not to stalk his friends’ feeds and so many other things that generations before didn’t have to consider. Unfortunately, one pitfall of a breakup in the digital age is the constant urge to lurk.
We all do it. Chances are your ex is doing it, too. That’s why an essential part of breaking up is to make sure you post all the super fun stuff you’re doing with your friends at all times. Of course, once you post, keep checking back to see how soon your ex watches your Instagram story.
Welcome Home
Meeting your partner’s family for the first time has to be one of the most nerve-wracking experiences on the planet. Parents are naturally protective of their kids, so making the best first impression possible is essential. That means being on your best behavior and dressing up for the part.
Don’t try too hard, though. You’ll end up looking like this taxidermied creature of unknown origin. No one wants their son or daughter to date a total weirdo, so just play it cool. Don’t smile too much, and make sure you blink occasionally. Also, don’t forget to take a deep breath or two.
As Good as It Gets
We spend hours cultivating the perfect dating profile full of amazing pictures, witty bios, and cool references. But putting in all that work with little or no payoff can be extremely discouraging. What was the point of all those photoshoots and wasted hours if a single date doesn’t come out of all that effort?
If you’re feeling discouraged by modern dating, try some reverse psychology. Instead of trying way too hard, throw in the towel. Put a minimal amount of effort into curating your profile. You may be surprised by who you match with. Best of luck, all you single hearts.
Too Many Options
Asking your partner to pick up some asparagus from the grocery store is a level-one expectation. It's simple and it relies on a reasonable assumption that the partner has knowledge of the items and stores involved. Plus, it's an item they too can use. Asking them to pick up a pair of leggings for you is a totally different story. That's, like, level 3,000. A man whose familiarity with the subject matter only includes seeing you wearing the item is bound to be traumatized by the experience.
Honestly, we can’t even really blame this guy. Sometimes even for girls, the amount of legging options is overwhelming, so how can we expect a man who’s never worn a pair of leggings to have a handle on the situation?
A Very Legit Apology
It’s true that video games do have a tendency to bring out the competitive side in all of us. Especially Mario Kart. So if you’re gonna have to apologize after a harrowing race, it’s honestly not a bad idea to do it with a cake. That way, everyone ends up happy.
The girlfriend's happy as she got her man to admit he was wrong (do not take this for granted), and the boyfriend's happy for clearing his conscience and finding the easiest way to make his girlfriend keep her mouth shut. If that's what happens after Mario Kart, we wonder what's the apology protocol after an intense round of Catan.
Step One, Identify the Stage
This is actually pretty genius. Take notes, people — this might be the most important thing you need to know when wanting to support your significant other. This girl’s boyfriend first needs to identify which stage of grief his girlfriend is in so as to give her the correct kind of support. If she’s in the feelings stage, most likely logical reasoning won’t be the answer.
It’s a pretty smart move. This can be used whenever your better half is in times of trouble, whether it be shawarma or any other Mediterranean cuisine, and yes, this goes for males, females, and anyone in between, and each dish has its own feeling stage.
Clueless
For some reason, boys can never seem to learn the ins and outs of periods. Whether they chose to be ignorant about it or were miseducated and led to believe misconceptions about it — they all have to face the bloody truth eventually. There's blood, there are cramps, and there's a person with a uterus who knows what they need. And what they need is NOT one hundred tampons for a three to seven-day period.
In this case, educating Michael falls on his girlfriend's shoulders. As if her having to put up with mother nature's most horrible present wasn't enough.
Um, That’s Cute... Kinda
Okay, so ultimately, this guy got his girl flowers and said he loves her. That seems like a foolproof tactic, right? Well, never underestimate a person's ability to cringe you out. The comparison here was… a little strange, but we have to assume their dog really loves eating poop, so that must mean he really really loves her. Bizarre, yet heartwarming?
On second thought, this guy actually bought his babe a bunch of flowers. He literally took a break from soccer or video games and bought a bunch of flowers. He has fairly earned the right to write whatever he wants.
Look of Love
Sometimes you can’t just go right out and tell your guy you want him to do something romantic for you. You have to just strongly insinuate...with your eyes. Then you can get mad at him when he doesn’t get the hint because he’s a boy and leave him totally confused about what happened. It won't help explain either, he's a boy.
Though, to be honest, with the internet and today's resources, knowing that men can't take a hint is pretty common knowledge. Spelling it out for him should be your go-to move, girl. It's the only way to make sure you were properly understood.
An Indecent Proposal
Some people can't help but snoop around in their beloved's belongings, and this is exactly why they shouldn't. While it may be tempting, you still don't want to ruin a surprise that took months of preparation. A surprise he literally had planned FOR YOU. Got an inkling that he might be planning something for you? LET HIM. How often does he do it anyway?
In this case, the soon-to-be-engaged boyfriend knew he couldn't prevent his lady from investigating, so he gave her another surprise and completely dashed any expectations she may have had. If you ask us, he's a keeper.
Cookie Monster
It's easy to get complacent in a relationship, which is why it's important to spice things up every once in a while. Some men take their significant others out for a spontaneous romantic dinner, for example.
Others leave notes on cupboards to remind their girlfriends where the baking mixes are so they know it's time to bake some of their favorite treats. Unless it was the girlfriend who left the note hoping that her boyfriend would get acquainted with the oven for a change. Either way, there are cookies that need to be baked and someone needs to get in on the action.
A Shopping List
First of all, that's a huge refrigerator! And second, this may be an efficient way to send a shopping list, but whoever is doing the shopping is probably going to be boiling with rage.
How are they supposed to see what's in the fridge with one photo? The right way to do it would have been to follow this picture with another photo of the fridge when it's fully stocked. This way, the dude could have reverse-engineered what was missing. Now he's going to have to buy EVERYTHING. After all, this picture doesn't show detergent, motor oil, or bird food.
Oh, Snap!
Your sweetheart is taking a little too long to answer? Drop an ex-bomb on them! Now that is a neat trick, but not something we'd recommend if your significant other could get upset. You can try this if you want, but you've been warned, it's risky!
A telltale sign that you shouldn't send this text is if your partner is known to be insanely jealous, like green in the face with red eyes kind of jealous, then it's a definite no-no. Also, we can't know for sure until we get further details, but if we had to guess, the show the dad was talking about is "Outlander".
Looking Good
Now we're not going to lie, he does look good. Is it just us, or do you also think Gigi should appreciate her boyfriend more and his willingness to show off her new outfits? Is there anything more fascinating than a man comfortable in his masculinity? With some upbeat music and a little dancing, he could be TikTok's newest star.
Also, we'd love it if Gigi could drop a link to whatever online store she was shopping at — it's not every day that you come across the perfect leggings & bikini top ensemble. We hope she doesn't have to fight her boyfriend for the one she's ordered.
Sweet Bot
Sometimes dating a robot will make you realize that having a partner who is human is not all it's cracked up to be. Or it might make you realize that certain aspects are essential, like, say, a sense of humor.
As with all dating experiences, you sometimes find yourself a person who can be both. (Obviously, we're using the term "person" very loosely here, hoping she isn't dating an AI of sorts or Vision from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Though Vision would make a fantastic partner, honestly.) The 21st-century world of dating. As far as the mind (or battery) can go.
Don't Be Mad
Here's a tip — if you have to start your message with "promise you won't get mad," then you might want to rethink your decisions. It's like telling a person to "chill." The second that word leaves your mouth it will achieve the exact opposite of what you were hoping for.
While designing a patio with a Super Mario Pattern might seem impressive, it's highly likely that your wife might disagree. It could be worse, though, cause this design does look like you're about to enter a real-life videogame. What will come first? A divorce settlement or putting your house up for sale?
Busting Stereotypes
There is a pervasive stereotype that claims women know where everything in the house is, but why stick to outdated beliefs and notions about gender when you can break free from the stereotype? This guy did just that — he knows where everything in the house is, even the smallest little paperclip.
So there goes the myth of men not being able to see or clean up after them. They see it all, they know it all. They are just lazy ba@st&rds. Actually, when you come to think about it, is it really messy if the person knows exactly where everything is? That's a philosophical question we're not sure we're certified to answer.
Fridge Note
They say the best kind of love is unconditional love, but in some relationships, it helps to keep some conditions in place. In this case, it's best to communicate your needs as best as possible, like spelling it out on the fridge in a subtle message. Assuming you have all the right word magnets, of course. Can you imagine if all the words they had in the package were animal names and Teletubby vocabulary?
This could actually be a great startup. No need to yell, no need to shout and get angry. Just simply place your words on the fridge and pack your suitcase. You're leaving.
Boyfriend Logic
It is an unwritten rule of nature that in most couples, one side is made of lava (and wants the thermostat to cool things) and one side is made of Arctic glaciers (and needs 300 blankets on them at any given moment). This guy was trying to teach his girlfriend how the thermostat works, we think we'd prefer not freezing over presents. Is there anything worse than sitting at home with cold feet and a freezing nose?
If you don't freeze to death, you can do things like work and go shopping and then have plenty of money for presents. The energy savers' dilemma is never a simple one.
Banana for Scale
Some girlfriends like to make homemade cards for Valentine's Day, which results in adorable cards like this one. It's more than just a sweet card, though — it also has a banana for scale to give it just the right undertone of funny.
It is clear that this gal of a girlfriend only went to one lesson in the "how to make your boyfriend happy" workshop and decided she knew enough and skipped the rest. Either that or there's a side of the card we can't see that clarifies that the banana is abnormally large. Like, the size of a building or something.
Punny, Very Punny
No, this person is not the first to make this joke. In fact, judging by the picture, this isn’t the first time he’s made this joke in front of her. She looks fairly nonplussed about it. But at least we know he thinks she’s a keeper!
Now, if this were our birthday, Christmas, or anniversary gift, this boyfriend would have paid a much higher price than a pair of goalkeeper's gloves. And the price would involve a ball. Unless (and judging by the look on her face, this isn't the case) she is an actual goalie in need of a new pair.
This Is Not a Joke!
This girl literally isn’t playing. Onion rings aren’t like fries that come in a huge pile. There are a limited number of them, and you best believe that she is going to eat and enjoy every single one.
So yeah, she has the right idea. If you gotta use the restroom, check those onion rings and check ‘em good. We can joke about almost anything, but beware if you go anywhere near our rings. You're not at that stage of your relationship yet. In fact, touch a ring and you'll never make it to that stage with her at all.